De Mundari-stam in Zuid-Soedan heeft een wel zeer opmerkelijke gewoonte. Zodra een koe begint te urineren, hurken de Mundari’s naast de warme urinestroom om hun handen en gezicht te wassen. Drie tseetseevliegen in één klap, heet dat dan in het stamgeloof: ze zijn proper, het voorkomt infecties, en hun haar krijgt er een vurige gloed van. Wie heeft er nog kappers nodig als er koeienpis voorhanden is? Biologisch, welriekend én gratis. The bovine golden shower: een verfrissend concept, zowel sanitair als cultureel!
Alle culturen zijn gelijk, nietwaar. Ze verschillen in hun gebruiken, maar ze zijn evenwaardig, en moeten zeker niet onderdoen aan de westerse cultuur. Wie dat nog wilt ontkennen, wie dúrft ontkennen dat runderurine evengoed reinigt als water en zeep, die is pas vuil. Een vuile racist die dringend zijn geweten moet reinigen.
We kunnen veel leren van andere culturen – koeienzeikdouches gaan de verspreiding van bacteriën en virussen misschien véél effectiever tegen dan al die misofobe maskers en handgels. Of jezelf insmeren met het as van verbrande lijken, zoals Indiërs doen vooraleer ze de Ganges, toch één der properste rivieren van de planeet, induiken: dat lijkt me ook een verrijking. Of je puberende zoon naar de weide sturen om een ezel achterwaarts te liefkozen zodat meisjes langer maagd kunnen blijven – die Colombianen kunnen ons nog een lesje leren in moraliteit. En de legale gewoonte in Yemen om likkebaardende bejaarde mannen een kleuterbruidje laten kiezen en deze naar hartenlust te bepotelen, heb je daar ook iets op tegen, misschien?
Muil toe, perverse neonazi. Wie ben jij om eeuwenoude tradities te bekritiseren? Waardevolle rituelen waar wij Europeanen veel van kunnen opsteken, vooruitstrevende visies die onze middelmatige cultuur eindeloos kunnen verrijken. Maar dát zie jij, enggeestige westerling, weer niet in. Je wentelt je liever in je arrogante illusie van blanke pseudo-superioriteit, en besmeurt iedereen die ook maar één tolerant denkbeeld durft te uiten.
Eens een kolonisator, altijd een kolonisator.
Je flagrant gebrek aan verdraagzaamheid van andermans denkbeelden is nog het minste dat je kan verweten worden. In de geschiedenis van de mensheid was en is je absolute monopolie over geweld daar getuige van. Alle andere culturen zijn vreedzaam – bloedvergiet vindt enkel plaats als er een blanke op het toneel springt. Etnische zuivering? Slavernij? Jouw uitvindingen. Net als de dictatuur, toxische mannelijkheid, en het patriarchaat. Moest je zoveel energie gestoken hebben in uitvindingen die de wereld vooruithielpen op wetenschappelijk, kunstzinnig, en technologisch vlak, zou die er nu wel anders uitgezien hebben.
Ik stel voor dat we in de toiletten van hotels, restaurants, en openbare plaatsen elke dag verse flessen koeienpis leveren, zodat Mundari toeristen ook de kans krijgen hun handen te reinigen, op een voor hen vertrouwde manier. En zodat de autochtone bevolking gedwongen wordt tot het waarderen van andere culturen. Een mandatoire diversiteit is het enige medicijn voor deze pathologisch discriminerende samenleving. En water is niet de énige vloeistof die reinigt, net zoals 1 plus 1 niet altijd 2 als uitkomst heeft.
Het moet nu eens eindelijk gedaan zijn met dat cultureel absolutisme.
Ik wálg ervan.
320 replies on “Koeienpis.”
Ha Alexandra, we ontmoeten elkaar 4 weken geleden op boekpresentatie van Arthur!
alles goed?
Ik ben weer terug uit mexico
lijkt me leuk om eens koffie te drinken!
btw mbt koeienpis, ikw as bij de stam die zich insmeert met koeienpis… https://www.teunvoeten.com/photography/documentary-dinkas.html
Alle andere culturen zijn vreedzaam – bloedvergiet vindt enkel plaats als er een blanke op het toneel springt. Etnische zuivering? Slavernij? Onze blanke uitvindingen zijn. Maar gaan we even heel ver terug in de geschiedenis dan zal je ontdekken dat we moeten gaan kijken naar het Bijbels Palestinana waar we tussen 1400 en 100 voor Christus al de
Uitroeiing hadden van de Midjanieten. In 1200 voor Christus de Slachting van de Canaaieten tussen 1000 en 700 voor Christus de
Uitroeiing van de Amalekieten. Dan was er ook nog de Vernietigingsoorlogen in het Assyrische Rijk tussen 900 en 612 voor Christus.
Regio’s waar we ook later ook de Hezbollah, Hamas, Islamitische Jihad, Al-Qaida en ISIS/IS terug vinden.
Het midden-Oosten dus, waar we vandaag vooral de Islam terug vinden.
Slavernij bestaat al minstens zo lang als de geschiedschrijving. Slavernij was een belangrijk onderdeel van het economisch systeem in de oudheid. Het is slechts deels vergelijkbaar met slavernij in de moderne zin van het woord. De slaven werden relatief goed behandeld en dikwijls als onderdeel van het gezin beschouwd.
De juridische code van de Sumerische koning Ur-Nammu bevat wetten met betrekking tot slaven, geschreven rond 2100 – 2050 v. Chr. Het is het oudste bekende spijkertablet dat een wetboek bevat. Het wetboek van Hammoerabi, maakt ook een onderscheid tussen vrij geboren burgers, vrijgelatenen en slaven.
Nu mag je 2keer raden waar Mesopotamië lag, jawel opnieuw het Midden-Oosten.
Het is inderdaad zo dat de blanken vandaag het meer voor het zeggen hebben, en dus meer macht en controle en dus ook overal in betrokken zijn.
Maar de geschiedenis toont dat we niet de uitvinder zijn van genocides, bloedvergieten, slavernij, … toen was vooral het midden-oosten die het voor het zeggen had.
Dank voor uw commentaar. Ik denk dat u het sarcasme van mijn tekst niet heeft begrepen.
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